How To Get The Engagement Ring You REALLY Want

Author Lynelle Schmidt
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Date Mar 19, 2015

How to get the engagement ring you really wantIt's been tradition for many years for men to choose the engagement rings for a proposal. The proposal is kept a complete surprise, and he's expected to find "the perfect ring."

But, we've started to notice a shift in the way that men shop for rings. Often times, there is more discussion with their partners and women have more of a say in their engagement rings than ever before.

If you aren't concerned about dampening the surprise a little, being able to have an open discussion about the ring might be a good idea. You can make sure you get what you want, because let's face it: you'll be wearing this ring every day for the rest of your life!

If you REALLY want to get the ring you truly want, there are a few simple pieces of information that would be important to share with him. Do you want a big diamond? A bright diamond? A unique setting or shape? Here is our advice on letting him know all about the ring of your dreams:

Tell him the ring style and diamond shape you would like.

A great way to give him some guidance while still maintaining some surprise is to tell him what you would like for a ring style, the setting and the diamond shape that is your favorite. This is a very personal decision for any woman. Your engagement ring is a reflection of your personal style. By steering him in the right direction, you'll end up with a ring that you'll be happy wearing every single day.

Ring Styles & Settings

A ring's style and setting will really dictate the entire look. The only missing piece would be the main diamond that is inserted at the end. By choosing a ring setting that you like, he will have a very clear idea of what you are looking for.

There are a lot of different options these days for the ring style. You could go classic and choose a solitaire ring setting, or you may want a larger diamond look with a diamond halo. You could be even more original with a one-of-a-kind vintage engagement ring. Find your ideal ring style here.

Once you've decided on a style of ring that you would like, you'll want to pick out a favorite ring setting. You could go flashy and add pavé diamonds along the band or go modern with a bezel set engagement ring. Want to learn more about the different ring settings? Take a look at the top 5 best engagement ring settings that we've identified based on popularity.

Diamond Shapes

The last design element that you can tell him about is your favorite diamond shape. There is no perfect diamond shape... it's all about what speaks to you! The most popular and traditional diamond shape is the round cut diamond. A round diamond is cut in a way that maximizes light return to be the most brilliant cut. It's truly stunning. It's been the go-to choice for many women for years.

But, there are so many other great diamond shapes to choose from these days that will also be beautiful. Princess and cushion cut diamond, for example, are two alternatives that you could explore that are very popular.

If you'd like to know more about diamond shapes, check out the 7 best diamond shapes for an engagement ring. You can also take our quiz to find out which diamond shapes fits your personality!

Help him visualize the ring you want.

After you've figured out your favorite ring style, setting and diamond shape, you'll want to help him visualize what all of these elements look like together on a ring. Men are typically very visual. Describing the ring may not be as easy as actually showing him what you would like.

Help him out a little and share some images of rings that fit the description of your dream ring. One idea is to create a Pinterest board with rings that you can easily share with him. Or, you can share pictures from Instagram, Facebook or a magazine that you've seen and liked. He'll have a better understanding of what to look for if he can see it in a photo.

Consider stopping by a store together.

There's no better way to help him visualize your dream ring than to actually go into a store and look at rings together. You might be surprised by how many couples choose to do this these days.

Browsing through rings together can be a fun way to show him what you'd like in person. You can both look at rings together and pick out styles that you both agree on. It's really one of the best ways to get exactly what you'd like.

If you decide to go this route, you'll obviously want to think about the fact that the ring will be less of a surprise. Perhaps you can point out a few different styles that speak to you and then let him decide on his own which one works for both of you. Don't worry, he can come back to the store when he is ready and surprise you with THE ring!

Determine what's most important to you & understand the trade-offs

Tight budget?

Is price going to play a big role in his decision? There will be a perfect engagement ring for you no matter what the budget is, but there are a few aspects of the ring that he may have to compromise on. Each of the Four Cs of diamonds can contribute heavily to the overall value of the stone. A diamond that is graded close to "flawless," for example, can cost significantly more than a diamond with a slightly lower clarity. But, you can often find a ring that is graded much lower that still looks completely clear to the eye. These are called eye clean diamonds, and they can save you a ton of money.

Have you ever considered an engagement ring that doesn't feature a large center diamond? Or how about one that is made of a bunch of smaller diamonds instead of one large diamonds (i.e., a cluster ring)? Both of these options are great if you'd still like a beautiful ring but have a tight budget.

There are also ways to make a ring look bigger without spending a lot of money. As diamonds increase in size, their price goes up exponentially due to the increase in rareness. Finding other ways to get a "big diamond" look without choosing one large center diamond is a great way to really maximize a budget. That's one of the reasons why ring settings that feature halos of diamonds around the center stone or other accent diamonds are so popular.

Want your ring to be blinding?

Do you want to have the most brilliant diamond in the room? Do you want your diamond to catch someone's eye from across the room? The best way to accomplish this is for him to find a diamond with a great cut. A diamond's cut is the most important factor in how it sparkles. A diamond that is too shallow or too narrow will not reflect light back to your eye the same way a perfectly proportioned diamond would.

Diamond cut is something that we emphasize over any of the other Four Cs of diamonds. We believe it's the most important factor when it comes to having a brilliant, sparkly diamond. A large diamond that is cut poorly will only appear dull and lifeless.

Want to have the biggest ring possible?

Hey, there's nothing wrong with wanting the biggest diamond for your engagement ring. Like we've mentioned, each of the Four Cs play a significant role in a diamond's value. If you want to get a diamond with a large carat size, he may need to trade-off on other aspects of the stone, like it's clarity or color. Don't be shy... tell him if you believe that size matters!

Send him any articles or information that you find helpful.

Help him become educated about diamonds and rings by seeking out helpful and informative articles. This is a very significant purchase, and it's incredibly important that he really understands what he is buying. He'll want to know things like some of the major differences in ring metals, what factors contribute to a diamond's price, and the basics of the Four Cs.

You can start by browsing some of our engagement ring articles, or take a look at some of our top posts:

Good luck!

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